hisdarkmark | Thirty-Ninth Hex

Thirty-Ninth Hex - [Written]

[As usual, Draco has once again gone and made himself scarce from a majority of the village as he works out more of his inner dilemmas. First and foremost, there's Hermione. She's most definitely, definitely not the same Hermione and it's freaking him out.

Secondly, he's officially given up on searching for Caroline Forbes. After running into other vampires...it's safe to say the blonde will never show up again.

And thirdly...? Even with his power, even with his abilities to turn into a coyote or produce patronuses or blow things up, he's finding it isn't enough to make him happy.

Recently he's returned from a mission, but he couldn't help but constantly think about the last experiment. He'd been convinced he was someone else, and he had absolutely no memories of who he really was...and it was nice. He was able to function like a normal human being again. Normally, he would make an elaborate announcement about his return, but this time...well, he's already pieced together what's happened in the village, and he's not sorry he's missed the tornado. No, instead he's entirely focused on what he's determined to find out. When he opens his journal, he's only got one sentence he'd like to share.]

What do you reckon it takes to bargain with our captors to permanently erase memories? Just curious.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The queens of the Sidhe. [She tilted her head, exposing the snake tattoo on her neck.] You don't remember them? Thousands upon thousands of years old and with more supernatural power and skill than any wizard could hope to match?

[For once, he genuinely looks perplexed. Did he remember? It was hard to say whose memories were whose anymore. He had memories from conversations and an alternate life in Molly's world, he had memories from Luceti, he had alternate memories of how things from home should have been, and of course his own memories from his real time at home. He presses his forehead into the palm of his hand as he tries to sort everything out, to grasp some sort of information that would make sense of what she's saying.]

I...don't know. [And he sounds surprised when the words leave his mouth.] Vaguely, I suppose. It's information filed away for later use, I'm sure.

Well... they're not something you'd have had to deal with on a day-to-day basis... even most wizards rarely interact with them.

[Except if you're Harry.]

But anyway, the point is that Fairy Queens are on the level of like... archangels. Magically speaking, for the most part, they can do what they want, how they want.

Let's pretend they aren't even an option then. Let's talk about the possible trauma that could come if a person didn't have memories to replace the ones that were erased. What then?

That depends how it was done too, and on the kind of person, and what sort of Power they have at their disposal. If there were just gaps, or if it was sewn up neatly - time just missing from their mental timeline.

That doesn't sound terrible.

No, that would be the tidiest way of doing it. [She glanced away.] But it's not without its risks.

[And she looked back to him.] How much are you thinking you'd want gone?

Mm. It's hard to measure, considering I want memories from the last three and a half years erased. But only certain memories.

[Molly raised her eyebrows. This whole thing was still dubious as leftover jello, but she needed more information than that to go on.]

Related to events? To people?

Both. Related to events that were caused by people that will eventually bring on my demise if I don't eliminate them.

[Molly blinked.]

Let me get this straight - you think your memories are going to kill you.

More or less, yes.

No, there is no 'more or less' with this. Considering what you're talking about could render you catatonic, you'd better be sure about it. What's going on?

I reckon I accidentally became a double agent a few years ago. That alone could wind up with me dead.

[Molly frowned.] That doesn't answer my question, Draco.

You remember what's happening in my world, don't you? Did we ever discuss this in depth?

I don't see how what's going on there can affect you here.

It's more like what's going on here may very well be affecting me there. That is the disconcerting part.

[Molly's eyes sharpened at that. This sort of thing was exactly the kind of thing that interested her.]

What do you mean? Every account I've ever read indicates that those who go home don't remember anything of their time here.

...there's this boy back home. Potter. He's supposed to save the world or whatever because he's the Chosen One. He's the one who's supposed to stop Lord Voldemort, who happens to be my boss. You can see where this is going.

[He pauses briefly as though deciding if he wants to charge ahead with his story or not. It's...kind of muddling and awkward, but he shakes his head and continues talking.]

To make a long story short, Potter and I have loathed each other for years, like six or seven years. He tried to kill me, I've tried to kill him, it's all in good fun. Whatever. He comes here, we fight for a while like everything's normal, but then the Dark Lord showed up in Luceti and we had to band together...and we became friends...and then we were hit with one of the experiments and snogged a bit...and then we snogged a bit without outside influence...and then somehow we wound up dating for a few years before he was booted out of Luceti.

And then there's the case of Hermione. I've loathed Hermione for years too simply because she's one of Harry's best mates...and because of her blood status. She's the type we're supposed to be targeting at home. However, she was the first from my world to arrive in Luceti a few months after I did...and it's that kind of thing, being pulled away from everything you know and finding only one other person from home in a foreign world, that causes you to bond with someone whether you want to or not. She gave me a chance, I took it and ran. She became one of my closest companions before Luceti booted her out, too.

Now think about this, Molly. Think about what I've just told you. People I hate with a fiery passion at home are people I ended up falling in love with here.

...they told me stories, you know. Both of them. They were both ahead of me in time and they both mentioned that they were captured and brought to my manor to be presented to Voldemort for execution. And they both mentioned that I lied about their identities. I lied about Harry's identity to protect him so that they could escape. A boy I've hated and envied for years is at our mercy, and I lie, something that could have me murdered as well, in order so they can make a getaway?

Somehow I doubt that's coincidence.

Edited 2012-11-24 05:43 (UTC)

[She listens and momentarily puts any sort of judgement or conclusions on the back seat about behavior or right and wrong and just focuses on the possibility.]

...maybe not. But it's way too tenuous for any sort of real conclusion. But I won't rule out the possibility that you could be right. Sometimes things are only impossible until someone finds the right key.

[He's just going to be stubborn about it, chewing on his bottom lip in thought.]

I'm not taking any chances though. There's far too much risk in being a Death Eater, and though my occlumency's good enough? It'd be just like my luck for it to fail and have the Dark Lord peek in and see possible thoughts and ideas about the Boy Who Lived in compromising positions. For all we know, even if the memories don't stay the feelings that they give us remain in tact. Isn't that something you can agree on? Emotions and all that rot. If I were to look at Harry right now, I might very well punch him in the face because of how things ended. He's been gone for over a year and I still would take the opportunity to break his nose again because of the bitterness that's left.

Who's to say I wouldn't have those same urges and feelings upon returning home?

[Molly shook her head.]

It doesn't work that way. Not if it's done well. Emotions are tied into memory, that's why they make such amazing modifiers. I don't know how it works when people come and go from here, but the simplest solution seems to have to do with time. It's like... some kind of a tesseract, but with the mind instead of with distance.

Then let's settle for the fact that I'm growing quite tired of consistently being haunted by memories of my first real friend here, a girl that's here now and isn't who I used to know, my ex-boyfriend and my ex-girlfriend. I want to be able to erase the memories so that I'm not constantly tethered to past growth. I can't move forward like this. [The last bit is mumbled as though he's embarrassed, as though realizing that this sounds kind of stupid.]

[She absorbs that and waits for a moment to stifle back the instinctive protests. Instead she darts a glance at his eyes and then away before...]

If you find someone to do this and it's successful, what do you think will happen when you discover the holes in your memory? You're talking about significant gaps, Draco. Multiple significant gaps in the fabric of who you are. Do you really think you won't find out?

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ] urgh sorry for the edits shira ._.;

[ Action ] no worries, Ty!

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]

[ Action ]