hisdarkmark | Thirty-Ninth Hex

[As usual, Draco has once again gone and made himself scarce from a majority of the village as he works out more of his inner dilemmas. First and foremost, there's Hermione. She's most definitely, definitely not the same Hermione and it's freaking him out.

Secondly, he's officially given up on searching for Caroline Forbes. After running into other vampires...it's safe to say the blonde will never show up again.

And thirdly...? Even with his power, even with his abilities to turn into a coyote or produce patronuses or blow things up, he's finding it isn't enough to make him happy.

Recently he's returned from a mission, but he couldn't help but constantly think about the last experiment. He'd been convinced he was someone else, and he had absolutely no memories of who he really was...and it was nice. He was able to function like a normal human being again. Normally, he would make an elaborate announcement about his return, but this time...well, he's already pieced together what's happened in the village, and he's not sorry he's missed the tornado. No, instead he's entirely focused on what he's determined to find out. When he opens his journal, he's only got one sentence he'd like to share.]

What do you reckon it takes to bargain with our captors to permanently erase memories? Just curious.

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[He looks up, barely even noticing just how tense Hisoka is. All right, he notices, but he can't exactly be arsed to care. He turns his head lazily to face him from his place on his bed, blinking slowly before giving off a languid shrug.]

It's not memories of you that I'm trying to bargain off if that's what you're concerned about.

[And that's when Hisoka throws a book. Because this is how Hisoka deals with his problems. He doesn't throw it at Draco, really. Just hard enough for it to hit a wall and make some noise.]

You're being stupid. And you're being selfish on top of that.

[He just watches the book sail through the air.] You're going to damage the walls.

And anyway, how exactly am I being selfish? Or stupid.

I've already explained to you what it feels like to have memories robbed from you. Things stay. The hurt stays. You just don't know what caused it.

How do you know? How do you know it'll effect me the same way?

How do you know it won't?

Can't you just let me try this on my own? You're worrying too much. Besides, I thought you'd be happy that I want to get rid of the memories of Potter.

The choices you've made are what makes you who you are, Draco. You can't just throw that all away because something ended badly. Be a man.

I don't really feel like being a man if it means having to listen to Hermione Granger every day.

It doesn't matter what you feel like doing. It's about being alive. [draco's never really appreciated that enough.]

You're not alive and you seem to be getting on just fine.

Because I chose this. I came back because I wasn't finished trying. Which is why you can't just decide you want to quit because you don't feel like it.

...I've been trying. I've been trying for anywhere from eight months to two years and it's not getting better. So. [He sits up a little taller, finally focusing on the actual conversation.] So. I want to try a new method. This is it.

So go have a picnic with Tsuzuki and you can feel sorry for each other. [This house has been full of nothing but heartsickness for ages now.]

Letting someone mess around in your head isn't the answer.

Why are we having this conversation again, Hisoka? You've said your piece, I've said mine, so unless you've something new to contribute...[He's aware he's being ridiculous. It isn't just about the heartsickness though. It's about...well, a pile of things he doesn't exactly feel like sharing. It's probably for the best he keeps himself permanently locked up with Occulmency around him though.]

So what, no one else should be allowed to affect me, but I'm supposed to just give up and listen to you? Wonderful logic.

You're supposed to listen to me and not give up.

[He shifts, exasperated.] Just. Fine</>. Do whatever you want. Let someone turn you into a vegetable. Stop trying to handle your own issues and forget everything you've learned. If you've decided that caring about anything is a waste of time, then I'm obviously wasting my time here.

[If permitted, Hisoka will be barging out with the same purpose he'd used when barging in. Fuck everyone.]

...[No, fuck that, this is not how things go. He's just going to lean over and grab the book Hisoka threw, throwing it back at the boy. Though he's not necessarily aiming for him, he will be aiming for the wall next to his head.]

[As jumpy as Hisoka tends to be, he shouts when the book hits the wall. Uncool, bro. That is his thing to do to other people!]

What? I thought you've already finished saying your piece.

I'm not exactly in the mood for you to walk away while cursing me in your head.

What does it matter? You're just going to forget everything anyway.

Now you're just being unreasonable.

Sure. Keep on thinking that.

Why does it matter to you so much? I thought you'd actually be happy if I stopped obsessing over these things!

Thirty-Ninth Hex - [Written]

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