Then let's settle for the fact that I'm growing quite tired of consistently being haunted by memories of my first real friend here, a girl that's here now and isn't who I used to know, my ex-boyfriend and my ex-girlfriend. I want to be able to erase the memories so that I'm not constantly tethered to past growth. I can't move forward like this. [The last bit is mumbled as though he's embarrassed, as though realizing that this sounds kind of stupid.]